So I felt like it was time to change the username--a lot of things have happened to me since I wrote an actual journal entry and even more things have happened to me since I last had a conversation with people I had talked to every day both online and offline.
I'm fairly numb now. I don't really get excited anymore--I think this is fine. I am not upset, and I stress out a lot less.
I do feel a lot of regret about how I used to be, and no excuses or apologies will fix who I hurt with my words that at that time I thought were justified. However now, I realize I just had no control over my life so I was grasping wildly at anything I could to try and figure things out.
I have figured things out.
I'm sorry.
In brighter news; I need alpha testers for my otome (visual novel / dating sim for female audiences or players who don't mind female pronouns)
I'm feeling very confident with the introduction that is taking up most of the work right now. I have done some programing in it and since I know very little programing I am worried about how things might feel or act.
Everyone that assists me in the alpha will get included in beta testing and when the game is released on steam, will get a free copy of the game for themselves and if I can do it, I'll even give a few extra copies to really helpful people to give to friends.
Assisting in the beta will also get you backstage information on how I'm working on the project, as well as updates on future projects after this one is complete.
If you're interested, please send me a note or comment here and we'll work on how to get in contact. I use Discord, so you're also free to add me if you are interested -- RedFingerFish is my username.